Banned

I first met Floorboard Stradling 18 months ago. She'd been recommended to Idle Rogue by a mutual friend. She was looking for an Australian venue because she has a son who has considerable musical talent. My first impression was that she was that kind of rough, aggressively "ostrayan" female that I'm not especially fond of. It amazes me how people can embrace a stereotype and then complain when their stereotypical behaviour is counted against them.

But Floorboard Stradling's intentions are good, even if she lacks the capacity to carry them through. Floorboard wants to be involved, she wants to be supportive. She just doesn't really ... like anything. Except herself. It turns our her son had no interest in playing in Second Life - no doubt influenced by his mother's spectacularly dysfunctional opinion of the place. Once again, I am astonished at how a certain kind of person seems to be living a very different Second Life to mine. Coincidences and Inconsistancies, indeed.

Floorboard, unsurprisingly, is very keen to bring her own musical talent to the grid. I encourage you to listen to her myspace listings. I think, if you do, you may understand that I didn't feel she was ready to perform. She has a passion, I'll grant you. And she can hit some notes. Some. Not all. Sadly, the ones she misses are the important ones.

In fact,as the person who ultimately decides what happens at Idle Rogue, I made the call that her singing is so fundamentally flawed that I was not prepared to let her perform there. In the end, it really is this simple: I run a chat room, and in return for meeting its' costs, I get to decide what it looks and sounds like. Floorboard obliquely approached me several times about playing. I gently declined. Instead of confronting me directly, Floorboard subjected our mutual friend to months of carping and whining about not being asked to play at Idle Rogue.

Our mutual friend tried the constructive approach, suggesting better equipment, more practice et cetera. In retrospect, we were, all of us, too gentle with her. Floor is not, herself, one for the gentle approach. On many occasions she has attended events at Idle Rogue and IM'd me to tell me what she didn't like about the performer, the event, other venues, my venue, people she met that day.

Direct copy and paste from Floorboard Stradling to me about another performer:
[19:09] Floorboard Stradling: im sorry i didn mean t hurt yur feelings i was rying to give you some constructive critism
[19:10] [unnamed performer]: really?
[19:10] [unnamed performer]: if i did that to you how would u feel?
[19:10] Floorboard Stradling: well id probably liek the honesty how can we learn if ppl arent honest

Separate example of Floorboard's honesty:
[2010/11/18 14:12] Floorboard Stradling: gday mate is [performer] on at your palce
[2010/11/18 14:12] chryblnd Scribe: at [unnamed venue], wanna tp?
[2010/11/18 14:12] Floorboard Stradling: yeah thanks
[2010/11/18 14:18] Floorboard Stradling: geez thats songs shit

It's apparent to me, now, that we were not "honest" enough. We thought her singing was "shit". We should have said "your singing is shit". On friday, it all turned sour.

[03:50] Floorboard Stradling: dont you remebr what you said to me
[03:52] [our mutual friend]: I remember a discussion about how you thought that Aussie artists weren't supported in SL.. on which we differed in opinion. We also spoke about the fact that you don't play here. And yes, I don't feel that your live was up to scratch.
[03:53] Floorboard Stradling: that real nasty
[03:53] Floorboard Stradling: you hadnt even herd me or seen me for mths
[03:53] [our mutual friend]: no Floor.. it's what I think.. What do you want me to say?
[03:53] Floorboard Stradling: not to mention even knew that i was unwell
[03:54] Floorboard Stradling: you can have your opinion but yo udont rally know cause you hadnt heard me for a loong time
[03:54] Floorboard Stradling: things change its called learning all about it and refining all this equipment
[03:55] Floorboard Stradling: apparently you seem to be some vocal expert
[03:55] Floorboard Stradling: LOL
[03:55] [our mutual friend]: yep, agreed
[03:55] Floorboard Stradling: what a joke
[03:55] Floorboard Stradling: fuck off
[03:55] [our mutual friend]: Excuse me. I didn't say I was. I said I didn't feel you were right for Rogue. It's a fucking opinion Floor. You going to rack me about an opinion coz it differs from yours?
[03:56] Floorboard Stradling: you are one very nasty girl
[03:57] [our mutual friend]: And your not listening, your only hearing what you want to. And you don't like it. I don't blame you. But you asked, I told you what i thought. If you don't want to know, don't ask Floor. *throws up her hands*
[04:05] Floorboard Stradling: get my name off your fkn profile you arent a friends asshole
[04:05] [our mutual friend]: as you wish.

At this point, our mutual friend posted a picture of one of Floorboard's griefer alts in her profile picks, along with a copy/paste of Floorboard's reaction to our mutual friend's honesty.
[04:07] Floorboard Stradling: dont ever speak to me again spit ..
[04:23] Floorboard Stradling: GET MY FKN NAME OFF OF THERE
[04:23] Floorboard Stradling: YOU SEEM TO ENJOY UPSETTING PPL

So then, finally, Floorboard approaches me.
[04:31] Floorboard Stradling: mate if you are with [our mutual friend] can you please ask her to take my name off her profile
[04:31] Floorboard Stradling: thast just real nasty what shes done
[04:33] Floorboard Stradling: its ok i sort it
[04:39] chryblnd Scribe: You ask for it, Floor. You are rude everywhere you go, you've been notably rude here and about entertainment I have and manage. And yet when a friend tries to be honest with you, you crucify her. You know what? The hugest irony of you is, you say we're not supportive of you ... not telling you how bloody awful your singing is was us BEING supportive. But that was not enough for you. You pushed it to a confrontation ... well, ya got one.
[04:39] Floorboard Stradling: I have not ben rude there
[04:41] Floorboard Stradling: i have actauly tried to support your place im just not here
[04:42] chryblnd Scribe: actually, you went to great lengths to let me know you didn't enjoy [an event I produced]. And you weren't shy about telling me [another performer]sucks, too. It's ok for you, but not for anyone else? Let it go, Floor. You have your ppl who enjoy what you do.
[04:42] Floorboard Stradling: i certainly dont think i am rude everywher i go thats just a lie
[04:42] Floorboard Stradling: what is this isnt sl meant to be fun
[04:42] chryblnd Scribe: you take great pride in it, you have told me on numerous occasions how you've belittled and abused people for not liking what you do
[04:43] chryblnd Scribe: and tonight, you lashed at someone who was a friend. Your bad
[2011/05/06 04:46] Floorboard Stradling: dotnt start with me on this shite
[2011/05/06 04:46] Floorboard Stradling: hahaha hilarious
[2011/05/06 04:46] chryblnd Scribe: oh suck it up, Floor. I have neither the time or the interest. As ye sow, so shall ye reap

After that, I muted her. I doubt she noticed. She was busy filing an AR against our mutual friend for violation of her privacy (copying Floorboard's charming IMs to her profile. Yes, copy/pasting an IM. Like Floorboard did in the example above. Only, of course, Floorboard was talking about someone else who wasn't there to defend themselves).

Our mutual friend has subsequently had her account suspended and restored. And Floorboard Stradling has started IMing my alt, Saturday Melody.

[3:32] Floorboard Stradling: You really are pathelic lol, I mean really why would I care if I performed at your pretend pixel land club, no wonder you are known as the cunt of sl... you are serioulsy hilarious
[3:47] Floorboard Stradling: youd be to unattractive to be a burleque dancer lady, and wow you cant sing either, so no sl sadly means for you no talent.

It seems she has a little trouble letting go. To assist her with that, I have now muted her on both my accounts, and banned her from my venue.

Taking a cue from venues I greatly respect, I rarely ban, though I do eject for the duration of an event if someone is disrupting the event. There are two people who are permanently banned from Idle Rogue. Both have carried out sustained attacks on people who live and work on Idle Rogue. People who are a fundamental part of its' community. Love it or hate it, while ever I pay the bills, that's how we roll.
-chry